Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Lights Out - The Last Meal

Here's a new spin to my posting - it isn't totally food related. More "Chicken Soup for the Soul" kind of dining, I would say. In any case, I think this is worthy of a blog for sure. But I'll keep it short because it's better that way.

Basically, since the beginning of my high school days, a certain male figure has been in my life. That is, as an on and off boyfriend. In any case, he has been an enormously huge part of my life - for better or worse. Well, after a final break up over the summer, I confirmed that I would be moving on with my life. I have a new living location, new job, new friends, new beginning - why would I go back in time to an unhealthy relationship? So, I have been very proud of myself and not communicating with this person for almost half of a year! That is the longest time in my life since I've known him that I haven't talked to or wanted to talk to him. (Not to mention that I have finally met someone who I really do care about and enjoy spending time with. He's made me realize that I deserve way better than what I was dealing with with the X bf. ) So, I find out that the X bf is now engaged! He's only been dating this girl for four months and now he is engaged? I was amused when I first found out - but then felt heartbroken - or actually, just at a loss for words. I felt numb but hurt. Just confused. I think because the X bf put so much pressure on me from a young age that he wanted to be with me 'forever' and blah blah blah. So, I never even imagined him marrying anyone other than me. And I should have realized that just because I didn't want to say "I do" to him...that he would move on. But I thought true love would take more than four months. (I sound like I'm pouting. - I don' t mean to be. I am just venting and this is my outlet.) So then I have to see his stupid engagement picture in our small town newspaper. Eugh. I just hope it works out. I just feel like I know him so well, and this is not what I pictured for him. I feel like someone knocked the wind out of me. The weird thing is, I don't want him back or anything like that. I just feel blah about it. But I will just change my thoughts and be happy for him. And happy it's not me in that engagement picture. Change is healthy and many times, for the best. This is the case in this situation - and it just makes me a stronger person. But it's hard to forget the past and all of the things that were said and plans that were made. But again, eugh. I can't believe I'm even posting about this - but I am. I think the title, " The Last Meal" is appropriate for this title. Because that restaurant has closed and I'm tasting a whole new cuisine and so far, I really like it.

Thanks for listening.

Stay sassy!



  1. I love you and I am soo proud of you!!! You are such a strong, independant and fantastic woman!!! Never forget that and always remember that you are first priority--if you aren't happy in a situation you have the power to change and overcome it!!! Love you neighbor!!

  2. This is weird. This EXACT same thing is happening to me RIGHT NOW. My ex (ugly, torrid relationship)just got engaged after 4 months of dating the girl and it makes me feel weird. I know you get it - I don't want him back, I love Justin more than anything, but it's still weird. And icky feeling. I feel for you.


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