Friday, April 16, 2010

Relationships; There Is No Measurement

I've been doing some thinking and I've come to the conclusion that all relationships are not made equal.  And that's okay.  They're not supposed to be.

This post is a result of some recent conversations I've had with a few good girlfriends.  Beginning this May, I will have a total of eight weddings to attend through October.  Eight.  Yes.  That's a lot and there goes any extra savings or big splurges.  Eight weddings equals over $1,250! Holy hell! Throw in a few baby showers and I better keep cutting coupons.  I digress.  I'm looking forward to them all.

So I had an amazing get together with my two besties from college.  We met in NYC and had a great weekend. 

One of those friends, Ka., is engaged and getting married in September.  (I can't wait for that wedding, by the way!) So I was speaking with her about her wedding planning and was really excited to learn about all of the details.  (I don't know if it's a result of blogging and reading many blogs that details wedding plans or the fact that I'm actually in an amazing relationship where I can see a long future together, but I love thinking about weddings.  This is a big change for me because in the past, (I have a long dramatic relationship history ) I never would even consider marriage.  I thought it was for the birds.  The thought of it would make me vomit. Thankfully, I no longer feel that way because I have met such an amazing man.)

So I'm talking to Ka. and tell her that I'm thinking about moving in with Tim after my lease is up.  Apparently I was talking really fast and kept justifying why I would possibly be moving in with him.  Ka. said, "D. It's okay. You've been dating for over a year.  It's fine to move in together.  You're going to love it."

Then I thought, how long is long enough to move in or get engaged or get married or have babies.  And Ka. brought me to the realization that every relationships' timing is different.  For example, my best friend from my hometown has been dating her boyfriend for six years now. I know she'd like to be engaged; just for piece of mind and to start planning the next step in their future together.  This friend of mine got mad at me the other day and said I'm obsessed with weddings and that's all I think and about.  (I disagree. I'm really not obsessed, I just listen to my friends who are planning weddings and that's always a topic of conversation that I have to talk about.)

Then we have my X who was engaged not long after we broke up for the 100th time of a 9+year relationship and married shortly there after and is already expecting a baby.  Now that's fast. But not unlike him.  So everyone has their own style and speed.

My point is that you can't judge your relationship against another because it just doesn't work that way.

And for a life update, I will be moving in to a brand-new two bedroom, two bath apartment with Tim at the end of May and I think we're both excited about that.   No more going back and forth between apartments and living out of a suitcase! I just don't want this to be a delay in moving our relationship forward, aka, I'm not moving in so I can wait six years for my 5 carat diamond! :) Just kidding.  Well, not really. 

So my friend who has been dating for the six years keeps telling me she thinks people should date for at least two years before getting engaged.  I disagree. Again, to each his own.

There are my words of wisdom for this Friday afternoon.

~Dining Diva


  1. I couldn't agree more! Relationships are like snowflakes. There are no two alike. That's an exciting step for you!

  2. Love this post. Love you. Love that you're moving in with Tim. Hate that pic! :)


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